Tonight during the discussion part of my Bible Study something came up that made me realize that it's not that I didn't have anything to write, it's that my life had gotten so far from the Lord and so incredibly "dirty" that I couldn't bare to confess it to my readers.
This last year and a half has been particularly painful. I chose a new path for myself, one that has rocked my confidence and self esteem to the core. I've been hurt, lied to, used and abused; it's been a dark time for sure. I've lost my identity and I don't know who I am anymore. On top of all that many of my relationships have been on the edge. Money is the worst it's ever been and all I want to do most days is bury my head. I feel so completely broken.
Today I saw this on Facebook, I wish I knew who wrote it, as it was just a copy and paste post, but WOW. It was a total Aha moment:
"I was in Dollar Tree last night and there was a lady and two kids behind me in the LONG line. One was a big kid, one was a toddler. The bigger one had a pack of glow sticks and the baby was screaming for them so the Mom opened the pack and gave him one, which stopped his tears. He walked around with it smiling, but then the bigger boy took it and the baby started screaming again. Just as the Mom was about to fuss at the older child, he bent the glow stick and handed it back to the baby. As we walked outside at the same time, the baby noticed that the stick was now glowing and his brother said "I"God is breaking us but when the breaking is done, then we will be able to see the reason for which we where created." I just love that!!!! I don't have to look at this state I'm in as disaster. I can see that it's God' way of helping to make me glow again. I know He's broken me to put me back together better than I was before. Being broken has drawn me closer to the Lord, I'm attending church regularly again, in a bible study, connecting with Christian friends again, but most importantly I'm praying and spending time with God consistently.
Are you feeling broken too? Let me pray for you.
Dear Heavenly Father, Lord I know that you have a plan and a purpose for us all. I know that sometimes we can't fulfill that purpose until you break us. It's painful and humiliating at times but I know that you are not ashamed of us no matter what. I know that you love us beyond any love we can possibly imagine and I know that you want to give us the best life we could ask for. A life that comes from submission to you. Lord please give strength to my broken sisters-in-Christ tonight. Father be with them carry them through this difficult sorrow-filled road and lead us to our destinies as you build a better more beautiful us in the image of your radiant son, Jesus Christ. It's in His name I pray. AMEN.