Friday, July 20, 2012

Confession #4 - I want to Get Away...

The Lenny Kravitz song I want to Get Away is repeating over and over in my head -

Wish that I could fly
Into the sky
So very high
Just like a dragonfly

I'd fly above the trees
Over the seas in all degrees
To anywhere I please

Oh I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah yeah yeah

As you can probably guess, I've had a stressful day.  My six year old has been extremely challenging and lately my relationship with my husband has been less than stellar.  It's days like this that I find myself trying to escape the pressures of home by filling my schedule full of obligations, yes I'll meet you for coffee, okay I'll help with that project, yes I'll come to the event, party etc...  I already teach a bible study one night a week, but the remainder of my nights and sometimes my weekends, I fill with other obligations.  I guess I'm hoping it's just until my headache is gone, my heart is right and the problem goes away.  Shameful isn't it?  I would rather be away from my family than to deal with the stress. 

Then some days frankly, I would love to just leave it all behind me.  God doesn't want me to run away from my problems.  I know He doesn't want me to quit.  And honestly, I would not run away from my family.  They are my responsibility, and although I do run from many challenges I don't entirely run from my responsibilities.  I know I'm not the only person who wished she could run from her problems, but that doesn't solve anything.  King David set a great example for us when we are deflated.  He prayed:

"Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul?
      Why are you crying the blues?
   Fix my eyes on God—
      soon I'll be praising again.
   He puts a smile on my face.
      He's my God." Psalm 43:5 (The MSG)

Lord, help me to be family focused and love and care for them as you have called me to.  Let me find new healthy ways to deal with my stress rather than run away.  Help me to be the woman you have created me to be.  Thank you for the gift of a husband and a child that love me and a home to come home to everyday.  Let me not take your blessings for granted.
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