I'm a Disney fanatic. I love the Princesses. So beautiful, gentle, and kind. Like most girls when I was young my fantasy was that I would grow up to meet my Prince Charming and of course we'd live happily ever after. What woman doesn't want that? Snow White, Cinderella, Belle, they were my hero's. They had done it, they found their Prince. Disney had me convinced that I would find mine too. And I'm happy to say that I did meet my Prince Charming. He was everything I wanted in a mate. He was kind, loving, considerate. He cared about my needs and worked hard to fulfill my wants. He was romantic and of course charming. And when we married the future was all ours to live happily ever after. I still have a good marriage to a man I love, but happily ever after? Not so much.
I'm not a professional counselor nor do I consider myself an expert by any means, but what I've learned is in marriage there are ebbs and flows of happiness. You love your spouse but very few people who've been married for a while can honestly say they are "in love". Being in love is a wonderful, exciting feeling. But it's not realistic.
True love is facing the good, the bad, and the absolute disgusting without walking away. It's complimenting him when you'd rather hit him over the head. It's rubbing his back when you'd rather take a long hot shower. It's forcing yourself to stay calm when all you want to do is scream at him because he's left the milk out of the fridge overnight; again! It's supporting some of his parenting decisions you don't agree with. And it's letting him have his "cave" time when you want to hash it out right then and there. Basically it's sacrificing our "entitled" emotions and reactions for love actions.
I had to learn it the hard way. It isn't easy and I struggle day by day fighting the urge to throw a shoe at him when he reprimands me like he does our six year old. Instead I choose to forget what emotions I'm entitled to have, forget feeling like a victim, and I decide to love him instead. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I run over and throw my arms around him, I'm saying that I wait to talk to him about how it made me feel at a more appropriate time.
So until the real happily ever after comes, our Lord Jesus' return and until Satan is thrown into the lake of fire, let's remember to forget living happily ever after start living in love not being "in love".
"Lord please continue to help me love my husband when he isn't so lovely. Let me continually sacrifice my entitlements and be an example of your love. And please teach my dear sisters to do the same." AMEN!